Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse (NPD)

Most people who have never experienced it first-hand fail to realize the sheer severity and covert nature of narcissistic abuse, particularly that of the covert narcissist. Covert narcissism is undoubtedly the most damaging form and also the most under-cover form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and many victims go decades without consciously realizing what it is that's being done to them.

The emotional and mental abuse that a narcissist inflicts on their victim is based on the power of subtle suggestion. The power of suggestion is one of the most powerful psychological tools known to man and should never ever be underestimated. The narcissist presents to their victim, usually their relationship partner, a false self made up of a collection of simple and subtle pathological lies. Lies which make them seem angelic and builds them a reputation of being 'as good as gold' and 'would never do anything to hurt anyone'.

When the narcissist hears of someone else cheating on their partner they will say things in front of their own partner such as 'how could they do that to him/her? That's disusting' making out that they wholly disagree with such behaviour. However, this is only to fool their partner into believing that they would never be capable of doing such a thing yet the lie is simply a cover to hide the fact that the narcissist is doing exactly that to their partner in reality. The lies go on and build up over the years pulling the wool over the victim's eyes leaving them blind to the narcissist's true hidden self.

Money, friends, finances, identification, thoughts and emotions are all stolen from the victim leaving them in a position with no resources to leave and no-one to turn to for help. The narcissist has already ostracized their victim and built an army of support should the victim question anything that has happened. The narcissist's army will help propagate their lies to the victim whilst unknowingly being fooled by those very same lies. They report the thoughts and emotions of the victim back to their narcissistic partner who uses the information to manipulate them even further and to prevent them from finding out the truth. Stealing a person's thoughts and emotions and attempting to replace them with false thoughts, even to cover something up, is known as mental rape. The narcissist has created their own ring of abusers, they have employed their own mental and emotional rapists by manipulating the victim's own family and friends - the victim is left isolated.

Should the victim question the narcissist's pathological lies or hidden promiscuous behaviour then they will feel the wrath of the narcissist. They will suddenly be the one who is insane or paranoid which they've already got their friends and family believing long before the victim could have even anticipated. Although friends and family may know about some of the narcissist's one night stands or continued secret long-terms affairs, these are already justified in their minds due to the lies the narcissist has been telling them about the victim over the years. The victim has already been ostracized and had their reputation destroyed in the background without them even realizing what was happening. It's too late.

Literally every little thing that happens gets twisted back round onto the victim and they are left scratching their head with wonder thinking 'is it me?' and never quite realizing how the narcissist manipulated them into that situation. Not only will the narcissist convince their victim they are insane, they will go the full length and tell them to go the doctor and have medication (that the victim doesn't really need) prescribed. Narcissists are extremely dangerous, they would rather allow their partner to get beaten up for making accusations or even let their partner die rather than reveal their true hidden self. It took them all their life to build up their 'good as gold' reputation as a cover for the evil emotional and mental rapist that lies beneath and nobody is ever going to wear them down.

Narcissistic abuse feels cruel, cold-hearted and sadistic for the victim. Narcissist's do not make their victim suffer intentionally but they get a kick from knowing that they are able to manipulate their partner and get away with whatever they want. The partner suffers in silence for many years not quite knowing if their suspicions are correct or just paranoia. The victim knows that even if they did turn to someone for help that the behaviour of their narcissistic partner has been so outrageous that nobody is going to believe them anyway, until they reach a point where they just can't take it any more.

In many cases the partner may discover true evidence of the narcissist's hidden behaviours (pathological lies, one-night stands, incest, secret affairs or even a double life). It hits them hard. They come to the realization that all of their suspicions that arose over the past years (or decades in many cases) were not just suspicions but actually subconscious clues being absorbed by their intuition - their suspicions were correct all along. They are left feeling desperate, suicidal and shell-shocked which leads to flashbacks and nightmares. The manipulation and the presence of a false self becomes apparent and the victim comes to the realization that the person they fell in love with is not real, they don't exist.

The victim is left heart-broken, suicidal and angry yet the narcissist is still the one who is being treated like the victim. The damage is done and can never be repaired. Narcissistic abuse is performed covertly and extremely dangerous and it often results in death either through suicide, manslaughter or murder. If the victim does survive then the damage done is permanent, whether on a conscious or subconscious level the experience has been had and will remain with them forever, they will find it hard to ever trust another person again.

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Is It Me?

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The Narcissist In All Of Us

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