Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Is It Me?
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NPD / Malignant Narcissism
If you're reading this article then there's probably a good chance that someone you know or someone close to you may be narcissistic or possibly even suffers with the full Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If the words 'it's all in your head', 'you're paranoid', 'I never said that' or 'you need to see a shrink' are phrases that you hear commonly upon confronting the person in question then you can be sure that something just isn't quite right. In fact, you probably already realize this but just can't seem to put your finger on it so to speak. These are all indications of subtle mental abuse. Narcissists like to convince their victims that they are crazy via projective identification. Upon being confronted, denial and repression kicks into action and the narcissist manipulates their victim into acting out their rage for them. Narcissists suck and leech on the mind, emotions and soul of their victim. It's almost as though they are feeding on their victim's feelings and for this reason narcissists are commonly referred to as emotional vampires. They suck on their victim's confidence, self-esteem and sanity in order to regulate their own egotism
Reassuring words that you probably want to hear right now are 'it's not you' and if you've found yourself reading this article then it probably isn't. You may already know this from memories of earlier times in your relationship with the person in question, although it's still difficult to cope with because the narcissist seemingly has everyone around you fooled thinking that they are as good as gold and would never hurt anyone and that you are the one to blame. However, you should always remember that you do not have to prove anything to anyone - you know the truth. Although close friends and family members may have a biased opinion towards you thanks to the narcissist's crafty devious and manipulative distortion campaign of your reputation this is not something you should be concerned about, they will come to their senses in time.
If you genuinely are dealing with a narcissist then they will most likely have you tied into their system of manipulation which is commonly referred to as 'the narcissist's dance'. The narcissistic abuse wears down at the victim's soul, the victim loses interest in hobbies they were once passionate about, they feel worthless and devalued and have been put through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and objectification. After this comes dissociation. When you reach the end of your tether and can't take the abuse any longer and you are about to make or break, despite the fact that you have been left with no money or anyone to turn to, the narcissist then offers you relief from those feelings knowing that the relief from all the confusion will suck you back in then they repeat the process and spit you back out and do it all over again. This is something which is never likely to change, narcissists very rarely change or even make the effort. They would rather repress awareness of their narcissistic traits and convince everyone that you are the crazy one, even if you know the facts and have solid evidence - they will never admit the truth. Their deceit is pathological.
Going for relationship counseling or therapy with the narcissist in your life is a bad idea. Narcissists have what is commonly referred to as a super-human capacity for manipulation, they are cold and calculating and often manipulate the therapist or counselor into taking their side and then they both proceed to tag-team the victim. In fact, many narcissists get into a therapeutic career in order to mask their narcissistic traits which upholds the false sense of self which projects them as a good person.
Related Hubs
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - Malignant Self-Love
The Covert / Stealth Narcissist
Recognizing Narcissistic Abuse
The Aftermath Of The Narcissist
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This is a great article that has potential to reach many people. As I read this I was reminded of a person in my own life and it really made me rethink about some situations I have been in because of this person. Excellent work!
My ex-husband and my father are narcissists and this is spot-on.
I've dealt with a person with NPD. They make your world crazy. And, after you leave, their manipulation will intensify. To escape successfully, it's best to break off all contact completely.
Good article!
Terri
This is great insight into something I did not know much about, thanks for this!
Great insight. I have a friend who's a typical case of NPD, and while at first I thought it was simply a byproduct of alcoholism, after he got clean I started to see it's simply the way he operates. I still sometimes feel like I'm going crazy, or I've done something wrong, so it's always helpful to hear that I'm not alone in that feeling.
Thanks for the comments. I was hoping that I would really nail it with this hub, victims often find it difficult to explain the reality to people. It's easy for others to assume that they are exaggerating when in reality they are probably only just scratching the surface of what they've been through.
Very good. This describes my relationship with my ex to a T. So glad it's over.
Wow, this is a very fascinating hub, I appreciated all you shared. I was somewhat familiar with this type of personality but there is a lot here that I didn't quite realize. Its helpful in the sense that you can at least observe these things, and have SOME understanding of what is going on. Its so sad, that some do this kind of thing. Life is precious and too short to treat others badly.
I like that you said, you don't have to prove anything to anyone...you know the truth. That is so true, and its hard to not feel the need to try to defend oneself or help others to understand. Often, even that gets turned around. Its better to recognize things, and move and away if you can. (IF nothing else can be done...)
So far as I've hinted but not said, it's my mother who is the NPD, in comments to your very well written hubs on this topic. My daughter actually saw for herself when she was up last year. But , does not see the full weight of it all. Another informative hub. Absolutely accurate. Vote up.
Both my parents had this disorder. Not a good life for their children. Very impressive hub.
Charlotte B Plum Level 5 Commenter 8 months ago
This is a well written hub. Often, narcissism is something that affects the people around the person with the personality disorder, instead of the person himself. How unfortunate. Thank you for sharing this with us, rated useful!